Travel Talk: Traveling Solo

Travel blogger Jessica Sturdy of @bowsandsequins shares tips and advice for traveling alone!

The #1 question I get when Iโ€™m traveling solo is simply, โ€œHow do you do it?! What are your tips?โ€ To preface this post, Iโ€™ve always been a really independent person, in all facets of life. By nature of my job, I work alone almost every single day. Even before I was running B&S full-time, I was the first full-time employee at my old company. I ran our NYC showroom while the rest of the team was in Rhode Island. I worked in an office by myself almost every single day for well over a year before we hired my assistant. On the personal front, I live by myself and have for quite a few years. So when you think about it, traveling alone isnโ€™t that different from my everyday life. However, I do live in Chicago with all of my college besties. My best friend lives in my same building and weโ€™re always together when we arenโ€™t working. And sometimes when we are, too! So, for me, the main difference while traveling is the lack of socializing. Weekends are a lot different when Iโ€™m traveling solo versus when Iโ€™m home in Chicago, or even in my second home, NYC. And when youโ€™re traveling somewhere where most speak a different language, it can be even more isolating.

Travel blogger Bows & Sequins shares tips and advice for taking trips by yourself!

โ€œIs it lonely??โ€

While I wouldnโ€™t call it lonely, isolating maybe? Letโ€™s call a spade a spade, hereโ€ฆ Youโ€™re by yourself for an extended period of time. You will see and do things that you wish your friends and family were there to experience with you, no doubt. But I try to embrace the โ€œme time.โ€ Iโ€™ve always been the girl that needs time to myself. Even when Iโ€™m on trips with groups of friends, I like to go off and explore on my own a bit. Get lost, both in my own thoughts and in a new-to-me city. Iโ€™ve found that soaking this up can be extremely rewarding! Most of the time, I like to wander without much of an agenda. Sure, have a light outline of a plan (areas, maybe a few coffee shops or cafes I want to find, etc.), but I just explore. You never know what youโ€™ll find! Most of the gems that Iโ€™ve found in so many different cities were not on all of the lists that I read while researching for the trip. I simply stumbled upon them!

โ€œHow do you handle dinners?โ€

Dinners are, by far, the time where you will feel most โ€œalone.โ€ Chances are, youโ€™ll be surrounded by groups of friends, coworkers, couples, etc. And youโ€™ll be sitting at a table by yourself. If you tend to be a self-concious person, you might feel out of place. But these people donโ€™t know you! Who the f*ck cares what they think, you know? In your head, you might be thinking that you look like a loner, but flip the conversation! You might come across as intriguingโ€ฆ Who the heck is this girl sitting by herself, chowing down on a three course meal, and guzzling wine? Or maybe thatโ€™s just meโ€ฆ ๐Ÿ˜‰

I do have a few tips for dining solo thoughโ€ฆ

  1. I always try to sit outside, if possible. People watching is the best and thereโ€™s so much more to see and soak in! I always love dining alfresco, but it feels so much less stuffy when youโ€™re dining by yourself. Sometimes thatโ€™s not an option and I usually prefer a table by the window so you can still see out. While you might default to your phone (everyone uses this as a security blanket!), I really encourage you to keep it off the table at dinner. Yes, even when youโ€™re by yourself! Being alone with your own thoughts can be terrifying, but Iโ€™ve learned to embrace it. If you really need something to do, you can always bring a book to read, too!
  2. Since there are weirdos out there, I always take a cab or Uber home from dinner, especially if I’ve been drinking. You never know who could see that youโ€™re obviously alone and follow you out of the restaurant. Better safe than sorry! This never bothers me during the day because itโ€™s light out and lots of people around, but I swear by this rule at night.
  3. I havenโ€™t abided by this rule as much in Paris because Iโ€™ve been trying to watch the sunset from a scenic point each night, but when I was in Italy, I always opted for an early dinner to make sure I could get back home before it was too dark or too late. (Cabs arenโ€™t as much of a thing in Positano, and definitely no Uber.) Youโ€™re home early, still have time to catch up on work, go to bed early, and wake up and seize the day!

โ€œWhy do you travel alone?โ€

Thereโ€™s quite a few reasons for this, but I would say the main reason boils down to my schedule. I have a unique situation that a lot of my friends donโ€™t haveโ€ฆ I can basically work from anywhere with wifi, I donโ€™t have a set number of vacation days, and I donโ€™t have a boss to ask permission from. Iโ€™m in my late twenties without much of anything tying me downโ€ฆ No husband or boyfriend, no kids or pets, and a very flexible work schedule. I want to capitalize on this unique time and experience as much as I can before I do โ€œsettle downโ€ someday. I felt myself wanting to do things, but felt like I was waiting around for friends to be able to get the time off or for me to find a boyfriend to travel to these places with, and I was finally just like F*CK IT, I have the opportunity and Iโ€™m doing it solo. โ€œWaiting around,โ€ in any sense of the phrase is generally never a good thing. Seize the moment, folks!

Travel blogger Bows & Sequins shares her tips for traveling to Europe alone.

A few other general tips that I swear by when traveling soloโ€ฆ

  1. I leave the designer duds at home in Chicago! When Iโ€™m in Chicago, my LV tote goes everywhere with me during the day. When Iโ€™m traveling solo, I swap it for a plain leather tote, like my Cuyana. My navy Gucci crossbody is one of my go-to bags, but if I wear it out here, I flip it inside out so the logo isnโ€™t showing. A lot of times, Iโ€™ll also wear my crossbody under my jacket, just to be safer with the whole pickpocketing thing.
  2. I donโ€™t wear much jewelry when Iโ€™m traveling alone. This is even more relevant after the Kim Kardashian robbery (different post for a different day), but I avoid all things flashy. Obviously I donโ€™t have 10 mil worth of jewelry, but Iโ€™ve just found that drawing the least amount of attention to myself is key. Same goes with clothing.. I keep it simple and donโ€™t wear anything that would turn heads. Anything that looks expensive is just going to attract the wrong crowd, you know?
  3. On that same note, I rarely wear makeup when Iโ€™m by myself. For starters, Iโ€™ve got no one to impress and might as well let your skin breathe. But really, I donโ€™t want to draw attention to myself! Itโ€™s no secret that most of us look much better with a bit of makeup on and if you follow along on Snapchat, you know my #IWokeUpLikeDis self ainโ€™t cute. When I am wearing makeup, itโ€™s basically just concealer and mascara to avoid frightening you guys on social media.
  4. Speaking of social media, I never post in real time when Iโ€™m away. NEVER! Iโ€™ll usually put my phone on airplane mode and send snaps to my story. Most of the time, they will save (unless Snapchat is being glitchy) and still be there when you return to wifi, at which point you can โ€œtap to retryโ€ and push them all live. If youโ€™re worried about losing the content, I always take regular photos and videos to have those as a backup, just in case. As weโ€™ve learned in the media lately, itโ€™s far too easy to trace someoneโ€™s steps with social media. And just to show how much people pay attentionโ€ฆ Iโ€™ve never once said where Iโ€™ve lived in Chicago. But with general neighborhood mentions and maybe snapping my view, I met someone a few months ago that said, โ€œOh yeah, you live at XYZ, right?โ€ At first I was thinking, WTF, how does she know this? But it can be way too easy to piece together the puzzle pieces sometime. Just like when I was in New York! I knew Kylie Jenner was staying next door because of the Snapchat she posted of her view. Itโ€™s a weird world we live in, people, and there are some strange birds out there. Better safe than sorry!
  5. When in doubt, channel your inner bitch. Sounds mean, but again, better safe than sorry. I rarely stop or even look when anyone says anything to me on the street. Get that RBF on, and keep it moving. There are exceptions, Iโ€™ll stop if a woman is asking for directions or something simple, but if I get a skeevy vibe, I just pretend like I donโ€™t understand the person and keep walking. (Always, always, ALWAYS trust your gut reaction and listen to your intuition!) On that note, there will always be cat-calling pricks, no matter where you are. NYC prepped me for this quite well! Iโ€™ve noticed in France that itโ€™s mostly groups of guys making fun, not really saying anything in a sexual way. Again, mentally flip them the bird and keep walking. Ainโ€™t nobody got time for that.

Alright, so where do you start?

Iโ€™d recommend easing yourself into solo travel, just to make sure itโ€™s for you! Chances are, you probably have to travel alone with your career from time to time. Ease yourself in by eating dinner alone at a restaurant instead of opting for room service. Or if you are traveling with friends, take a day and explore by yourself before meeting back up with your friends for dinner! Or even if youโ€™re just in your own city and not traveling, go to a movie with you, yourself, and you. Or eat dinner somewhere by yourself! You may fear that youโ€™ll run into someone you know, which I can understand, but honestly, who really cares. Make up an excuse if it makes you feel better! Or start with lunch, I feel like eating lunch alone is a lot more common than dinner. But bottom line, if you even have the itch to travel alone, Iโ€™d highly recommend exploring it!

Let’s keep the conversation going!

Iโ€™m sure there are some questions I missed, so please, please ask them in the comments below and Iโ€™ll make sure to respond! Or shoot me an email if you want to keep it private. Iโ€™ve gotten so many questions about this topic this summer, and I want to offer as much insight as I can! xoxo JRS

PS: I realized this week that people thought my #JetSetJRS hashtag meant โ€œjetset juniors.โ€ I was crying laughing! I guess I see it, but nope, those are my initials and the hashtag I use to sort through my travel content.

And as always, all of my travel recommendations for most of my favorite cities are on my Travel Guide!

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35 Comments

  1. 10.7.16

    I love going to movies by myself but 1000% identify with waiting to travel certain places until friends or family can join (particularly with Will’s crazy work schedule!). I think you’re a total rockstar for saying f*ck it and going by yourself (but I am so down to be your travel buddy in 2017)! xoxo

  2. 10.7.16
    lauren said:

    I admire you for traveling alone! It is brave and bad-ass! I usually travel with friends but I love sneaking off by myself for a coffee or a walk. I am also one of those people that needs time alone to recharge; it makes me a better travel companion.

  3. 10.7.16
    Charlotte said:

    I love travelling solo! I’ve been to Europe several times on my own (usually visiting friends who live there and using their places as a base) and last year I even went on a 3 month trip to SE Asia on my own! It was the best thing I ever did. When you’re travelling solo, it’s important to remember that you’re only “alone” as much as you want to be…it’s surprisingly easy to make friends on the road if you want that. It’s so neat to see that you’re taking full advantage of the flexibility in your schedule and your work situation to do so much travelling, you’re a true “digital nomad” now, Jess!

  4. 10.7.16

    Loved this Jess! I travel a lot for work and never say no to a new destination. I love it!! It’s invigorating and empowering and best yet, you’re in control of your schedule.

  5. 10.7.16
    Kara said:

    I love this post!! It’s on my bucket list to take a trip by myself some time in the next year! The tips were great and I feel more prepared to plan a trip!

    -Kara
    http://Www.everydayk.com

  6. 10.7.16

    Jess, thank you so much for writing this post. I love taking myself to the movies and dinner. I even will get a drink at a bar alone. I have always been one to be “on my own” and I am excited to travel solo in the future; when I get my finances under control. The tip about Uber/Cab after dinner is so important. Having lived in NYC I know the importance.

    Hope you had a wonderful trip! Looking forward to more travel tips and guides and have fun with Hallie this weekend!

  7. 10.8.16
    Caroline said:

    I never thought of the fact that people might see me dining alone and try to follow! Great safety tip from one independent gal to another!
    x0x0 Caroline http://thecarolove.com/

  8. 10.8.16
    Susan said:

    Where did you get the red bag with the monogram at the top of the article? I love it!

  9. 10.9.16
    Rachelle said:

    I always end up traveling with girlfriends but if I don’t have anyone to tag along I would totally do it. These are some great tips, pinning for future reference.

    xo
    PinkSole

  10. 10.9.16
    Giselle said:

    Hello! I came to this post because it was linked on Franish’s blog. I spent 3 weeks traveling solo in Europe. It was lovely. A couple of thoughts/tips that I think may be helpful — if outdoor seating is not available, consider sitting at the bar. If it’s not busy, you can chat up the bartender. Also, in Europe especially, you can stay in hostels to meet other solo travelers.
    I had similarly thought, I will go when someone else could go with me. However, I have more vacation time and money than most of my friends, and I was tired of waiting! One of the biggest advantages of solo travel — you have complete control. Spend money where you want and save where you want. Spend your time how you want, etc. It’s a beautiful thing. : )

  11. 10.9.16
    Amanda said:

    Such a great post! You definitely have an ideal situation and it would be crazy not to take full advantage of it. Your tips are really smart, good to not let your guard down just bc you’re on vacay.

    I’d love to see more travel posts – maybe even a packing post? Unless you’ve already done that

  12. 10.10.16
    Liv said:

    I so needed to read this! Thank you! I wanted to see Bridget Jones’s Baby last week but all of my friends were busy and I thought everyone in the cinema would think I was a loser sitting by myself, ha! Next time, I will suck it up and go!
    Loving your instas and snaps from Paris! x

  13. 10.11.16
    Kelly said:

    I loved this post, Jess! And totally agree that sitting outside helps. So much more to take in! But ahhh — LOVE following along on your adventures. ๐Ÿ˜‰ You live such a fun life! Thanks for sharing this!!

    Kelly | Kelly in the City

  14. 10.11.16
    Maggie said:

    Thank you SO much for writing this post! You gave so much helpful insight and I really hope you continue with the travel talk series! It is the best!

  15. 10.11.16
    kaitlin said:
  16. 10.13.16
    Larisa said:

    Love this and am beyond jealous of all your travels. You’re one of my favorite people to follow via snapchat because you’re actually living the life I wish I could lead, LOL! Thanks for sharing all of these amazing tips. Definitely looking forward to one day traveling as much as you do!

  17. 10.14.16
    Audrey said:

    I couldn’t admire you more for being so brave and traveling alone! I truly enjoy following along on your travels — you’re spreading the travel bug!

    Also, thank you for your notes on safety — I think this is something people don’t pay nearly enough attention to. I think similarly to you on this one; I don’t post about what gym I belong to, view from my building, etc. Social media makes it too easy to stalk! So thanks for the reminder.

  18. 10.14.16
    Elizabeth said:

    This post is amazing. It’s something that I’ve always wanted to try!

  19. 10.16.16
    Emily Piskulick said:

    love watching your solo travels! xo

    http://www.dearserendipity.com/

  20. 11.15.16
    Ellie said:

    Great advice! My first solo holiday was a walking tour of Scotland with EasyWays- it was really reassuring having a point of contact in case anything went wrong and it was nice knowing all my accomodation and travel was sorted. Here’s the website if you’re interested! https://www.easyways.com/

  21. 12.29.16
    Fay said:

    These are great tips! I have been getting the travel itch and thinking about setting out on my own. Thank you for all of the encouragement and information ๐Ÿ™‚

  22. 1.30.17
    Taylor said:

    Are there any language translator apps that you’ve used when you traveled? Specifically for the Asisan countries.. my boyfriend will be working in Korea for a few months and he’s trying to find a good translator app in addition to regular google translate.

    Thanks!

    Taylor

  23. 2.9.17
    Murad said:

    Hey,
    Definitely helpful post. Actually you have a perfect state of affairs and it’d be crazy to not take full advantage of it. Your tips are extremely good, good to not let your guard down simply BC youโ€™re on vacay. Iโ€™d love to see more travel posts โ€“ perhaps even a packing post? Unless youโ€™ve already done that. Whatever, Thanks for sharing.

  24. 6.20.17
    Bailey said:

    I know I’ve asked you about this before and I definitely took your advice! Currently on a plane home from 5 days solo in NYC! My first solo travel not for work. Thanks Jess!

  25. 9.29.19
    Riane said:

    I love traveling solo! So much so that I’m a little irritated some of my friends ha e invited themselves along for my bday trip next year! I like your suggestion to sit near a window or outside for meals. I usually belly up to the bar and bend the bartender’s ear — find out where they would go to relax.

    • 9.30.19
      Jessica said:

      Totally! I’m all for chatting up the bartender, and that’s usually what I opt for when I go to a meal by myself in the US! In this post, however, I was mainly speaking about international travel where there’s a language barrier in play.